Why I love Dancing with the Stars

dancing with the starsYes, I admit, I watch Dancing with the Stars. There is something about watching a couple in synch moving about the floor, interacting with each other physically and emotionally, that is breathtaking. The man leading with care and grace and the woman following but very much her own person.

Every dance expresses emotion. It’s more than going through motions because when it is it’s not as beautiful to watch. There’s the much flaunted “musicality” where the dancers need to keep in step with the music and not get out of timing with it.

When it’s done right, it is beautiful. A well done dance can make you smile or cry.

I guess I see it as an illustration of marriage. First, it takes two partners equally committed to the steps of the dance. Second, it takes a listening to the music of the Holy Spirit as God guides the couple through the ups and downs, spins and turns of life. Third, it takes discipline. None of the dancers can do what they do if they are not committed and practice. The final dance seen on the show is only the result of the hard work done behind the scenes: sore muscles, fights and tears, trips and falls, but the couple completely committed to following through – together.

A dance is not beautiful when one partner fails to practice, or doesn’t care, refuses to listen to the music or doesn’t even show up to the floor. Those dancers don’t stay on the show long. The other partner can dance 100% but if the slacker is there it only highlights how poorly he or she is really doing. My heart often goes out to the professionals who had given it their all with a partner that just can’t get it—or won’t.

A marriage is the same. It looks “off” when one partner refuses to dance or even touch the other. Where there is only animosity. Life is not an unending pase doble.  Or when the partner walks off the floor but still calls them self part of the dancing team of two.

I’m not fond of all the skimpy costumes on the show, but I am fond of the romance of it, and the fun. I love the behind the scenes where you see how hard it is.  Winners though rarely complain, they just dig in and do the work and don’t waste time thinking about just how hard it is.  Losers however justify their failures with how hard it is. They become victims of the trial before them – a trial they chose.

I would love to dance in my marriage in time with a spouse to the beauty of the music of the Holy Spirit.  I dance alone and sometimes I resort to the whining about just how hard it is, especially without a partner to support and encourage and share the hardship and joy of the dance.

Yes, I’m still married, but my spouse has stepped off the dance floor and doesn’t care about how well I do. Still, I need to do my best, even if it’s a solo number, and give it as much dedication and passion as if I had that partner to share it with. I need to imagine that Jesus is that partner.

How about you? How are you doing in the dance of a difficult marriage?

Blessings,

Lilly Grace

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