Secondary Gains – The Positive Side. Part 4

So I’ve spent three weeks discussing the negative side of secondary gains. But is it possible there is a positive side as well?

There is!

Sometimes when our marriages are difficult we are freer to do things we might not if we had to fully consider a full partner in the marriage covenant. It’s not that we don’t WANT to have that kind of partnership with our spouse, but how can we when he is distant or abusive?

So we gain some new skills perhaps.

We learn to stand on our own and make decisions.

We widen our source of truth-tellers and gain wisdom.

We depend more on God because the security and love of a spouse cannot be depended on (which is true for ANY woman).

What have you learned that you wouldn’t’ have otherwise?

Who have you been able to have greater compassion for because of your own pain?

Have new opportunities opened up for you that you would have never sought if your marriage was “healthy?”

It behooves us to look to see the positive side of things because there probably are some.

So what secondary gains have you had that are positive?

Lilly Grace



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